CavernSense

If you order now, you can get this Complete, Customized, Personal Repair Manual of Instruction. We don’t know what the Manual of Instruction says yet, or what it will be about when it’s finished, but we wrote it for you anyway and so we would appreciated it if you would buy it. It’s for you, it’s free, and all you have to do is pay shipping.  You wouldn’t want to seem ungrateful for this thing we did for you, now would you?

You see, we have decided something is wrong with you and although we don’t know anything about you, we have seen or heard you once and decided we are experts on your problems.  From that total lack of information we put together a Manual of Instruction to “fix” whatever we think is wrong with you.  It’s really easy, you know, like a television, or a dishwasher.  We’ve seen people say they can “fix” other people they don’t know anything about all over the internet.  So we decided we could, too.
That is why we have put it out there for sale. If you are unhappy with your personalized repair Manual for any reason whatsoever, you can return it for a full refund (minus the shipping charge, which we keep to cover shipping). And there’s no obligation to buy more. Except, of course, our feelings will be hurt and we will publicly trounce you for daring to be the ungrateful wretch you are for not appreciating the fixing of you we took all this time to do.
But we know that once you have this “fix-you-the-problem” Manual we have written (because we know you better than you do and can fix you whereas you cannot fix yourself) you will want to continue investing in our Manuals of Instruction. They are the most handy, informative, and useful Manuals you will ever have purchased. With your first Manual, you will also receive a form which allows you to order future Manuals.

And the best part about them is that they are all FREE! (just pay shipping)

Order now!

(price does not include ink or paper. Shipping is 299.00. Multiple orders will be shipped separately. A separate shipping charge of 299.00 will be applied to each order. Given the terrible exchange rate on the US dollar, we’d appreciate it if you sent the shipping payment in Euros. Or even Canadian Dollars. We would also take 299 bars of gold-pressed latinum, since gold is still worth something here and latinum sounds a lot like platinum, which is worth something, too. Deeds to land also welcome.)

This one is for Ruby O’Degee.

“Know when not to start upgrading.” Ignore that message about the out of date version!

Well I didn’t listen.

Our web host provider, BlueHost has very nicely added a new scripting program, SimpleScripts, that installs various web programs for us, like WordPress, Joomla, ZenCart, etc. I have irritated my friends for years with all my hype about how great BlueHost is, and so of course this should be a great addition to their service. For a couple of the programs the installation went like a breeze. Faster and more up-to-date than Fantastico, which wasn’t bad at installing, just slow at recognizing new versions. I was tired of manually upgrading because of that. So I thought to myself, yay, this is the answer to all my time-consuming manual upgrades.

…..because you know those folks tend to upgrade frequently…..

Well, it didn’t work. I first tried an install and named my own databases so I know what the heck database goes with what blog. No way. config file not found. So I asked Simple Scripts to do a new install and control everything (so I could see how it worked). No way again. Huh? Now the login file wasn’t found. Looked around the WordPress forums, found a few ideas but no answers that worked. Went to the BlueHost forums, no answers there either.

Sheesh.  After three hours, I went back to the manual install and created a new database. Name the database here, add a user there, unzip, upload, add a few lines to config.php, dum dee dum… Point to the install file, and presto! In ten minutes I had the new installation running.  Upgrading the old took a bit longer, but nowhere near the time to use the installer.  Still can’t figure out what is wrong.  I still think BlueHost is the best thing in host servicing, because they got right on the problem and had the same thing happen that I did.  They are working on fixing what they can, and the rest is up to SimpleScripts.  Guess I’ll go back to manual upgrading.

The most humorously annoying thing is that it took me even longer to sit here and complain about it than it did to do the manual upgrade.  Now I’ve spent four hours on it, when all I wanted to do was write a short entry here about how glad I was that Cyan is trying to keep the Uru Community together on one server if they possibly can.  A bit about their post yesterday on the MOUL forums, to be exact.  Heh, I still have to add that entry here.

Next time I take my own advice.

If you order now, you can get this Manual of Instruction. We don’t know what the Manual of Instruction says, or what it’s about, but we would appreciated it if you would buy it anyway. It’s free, and all you have to do is pay shipping.

You see, we have something to say and although we don’t know anything about the subject, we have decided we are experts and will put together a Manual of Instruction. It’s really easy, you know. We’ve seen them all over the internet.

That is why we have put it out there for sale. If you are unhappy with the Manual for any reason whatsoever, you can return it for a full refund (minus shipping, which we keep to cover shipping). And there’s no obligation to buy more.

But we know you will want to continue investing in our Manuals of Instruction. They are the most handy, informative, and useful Manuals you will ever have purchased. With your first Manual, you will also receive a form which allows you to order future Manuals.

And the best part about them is that they are all FREE! (just pay shipping)

Order now!

(price does not include ink or paper. Shipping is 299.00. Multiple orders will be shipped separately. A separate shipping charge of 299.00 will be applied to each order. Given the terrible exchange rate on the US dollar, we’d appreciate it if you sent the shipping payment in Euros. Or even Canadian Dollars. We would also take 299 bars of gold-pressed latinum, since gold is still worth something here and latinum sounds a lot like platinum, which is worth something, too. Deeds to land also welcome.)

This one is for Ruby O’Degee.